Jennifer Pickering

I couldn’t breathe today.

I couldn’t breathe because your fingers were around my chest and each breath drew them tighter.

Each frantic movement of my collapsing cage encased me deeper.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t speak today.

I couldn’t speak because you slithered your way down my tongue and played with my vocal chords, knotting them.

Your fist blocking my screams.

I couldn’t speak.

I couldn’t see today.

I couldn’t see because you sucked the sun from my sky, and spat out darkness in a shroud of taunting hate.

You took my light today.

I couldn’t see.

I couldn’t dance today.

I couldn’t dance because you shook the ground so violently I could barely stand. My feet were afraid of the floor and what its unstable ways might bring.

I stumbled because of you.

I couldn’t dance.

I couldn’t smile today.

I couldn’t smile because my cheeks would waiver with insecurities of you if I even attempted to curl them.

I wouldn’t even attempt a laugh.

I couldn’t smile.

I could write today.

I could write because even if you think you have all of me, I will never let you have this. And whilst I may not stand tall, I will throw my punches in every direction they can travel and with one small, continuous attempt at strength, I will one day be strong.

I tried today.

I tried.

–  Jennifer Pickering

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