You are not the person you once were.
That doesn’t mean you now are not better than before.
You are not the marks that cover your skin,
be they spots, or scars, or the in between.
You are not the thoughts you try to make escape your head,
though they’ll try to tell you otherwise as you toss and turn in your bed.
You are not the words others choose for you,
Be them kind or not, they are all untrue.
You are not a possession to display on a shelf.
You belong to no one apart from yourself.
You are not rumours or the whispered voices,
You do as you wish and make your own choice
You are not someone’s relief from their stressful day,
And if someone tries to tell you who you are, you say;
“I am not,
I am me.
And I am whatever I will choose to be.”
Today was a tough day and I realised I haven’t written in so long. This helped. My current plan of action is to attempt to freelance. I am fed up of other people choosing my path for me. I need to be in control of my own life and when others can still control it for me I don’t think I will truly feel free. I keep joking that by this time next year I want to be writing on a beach in Bali and I think it is time I make that the goal and writing the reality.
To this creative space I want to commit to at least one post a week and then I plan to possibly (possibly being key!) start my own Youtube channel which would be a horrendous incoherent amalgamation (someone’s swallowed a thesaurus) of everything from lifestyle and beauty(ish) to performance writing and possibly the odd bit of gaming. I’m not sure how that all will work… But just as my life is, my teeny tiny corner of the internet can be just as confused as I am!
There. It’s in writing now. No take backs.
Jen x
Jennifer Pickering 