I bought myself flowers for my birthday…
Can I just rant for a moment? It was my birthday a couple of days ago and I did nothing, diddly squat, naff all, and it was great! Yet, for some reason, the rest of the world wanted to judge that and attempt to make me question that decision. I’ve had 27 birthdays now and I have done something for 26 of them, so I decided for this one I’d do what I actually wanted and that was, as I said, nothing. Apparently that’s not good enough.
What is it with people judging you for doing nothing? I don’t class it as a wasted day and, even if I did, it’s my day to waste. I didn’t waste your day, I didn’t offend you, so stop acting like I did. People seem so obsessed with finding out what other people have done nowadays that they are more concerned about if their neighbour is living the high life than if they are.
Being an introvert with anxiety issues, staying in is my going out. Don’t get me wrong, I love an occasional night out but I am also 100% satisfied with my own company (naughty… but not really because I just watched movies in my pjs with popcorn and pizza). I get that it comes from a good place and I am completely grateful that I have people in my life who just want me to be happy and have the best days but still, let me eat pizza in my underwear and hide from the world, damn it!
It’s like, right now, I am in the middle of a few days off work and I know when I go back people will ask what I did and I will not have a lot to tell them but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself. I have, however, actually done something I won’t tell them but I will tell you guys… I recorded my first (ok second but I took the first one down) youtube video! I want to post my work in spoken word as well but I don’t want my work to not be personal so I’m also creating some “Getting to know me” videos as well. You can imagine how introverted, anxious me is feeling about it all but, as my birthday proved, I ain’t getting any younger and what’s the worst that could happen? (Write that on my gravestone when this dramatically backfires and goes disastrously wrong!)
For now I will see you later,
Keep an eye out for that video I mentioned, I’ll post it here as well!
Love Jen x
Jennifer Pickering 