It feels like it is good timing with Valentine’s Day right around the corner as I talk about rejection because I seem to be getting a whole lot of it right now.
Appling for jobs is probably one of the most stressful things I could do as an introvert. Having to go from new location to new location, meeting complete strangers whilst trying to seem completely open and friendly when I’m secretly hyperventilating on the inside is not what I would describe as fun. But that is my life. I’m at the awkward catch 22 stage of life where I have both too much experience and not enough all in one go and I’m not sure how that works but it does.
So there comes the rejection. I’ve become really good at dealing with it. Picking myself up, brushing myself off and, in a way, I’m happy for the experience and the life lessons it brings. I was always one of those annoying kids who just kind of got things without really trying. Even getting into university, I had an unconditional offer before I’d even got into second year. Not a brag, I just always seemed to make the right choices to be in the right places and luck was good to me. My first job I walked in right as they needed someone kind of luck. It was great, but I never had to worry about rejection. I never had to pick myself up and grow a backbone to be able to say I AM good enough, because the universe did it for me. Well, I sailed on those coat tails for far too long and now I’m at a point where I don’t get to ride them anymore and it is tough.
I know “Everyone wants an easy life” but sometimes that can be a curse and I’ve ended up exactly where I should be because I haven’t had to try and now finally I do and it sucks but I’m also grateful. I wish I had learnt some devine meaning to life during it all but I guess all I know is that it all keeps on turning and it is your choice what ride you take.
With this latest unsuccessful email, I have already signed up to an online course and I have kicked myself in my own butt to keep on moving. Jennifer of a few years ago would be wallowing over chocolate right now (it was a really good, chocolating wallowing oportunity) but this Jennifer isn’t.
It may not be the start to 2020 that I want but it has only been a month and there are more than a few more left this decade so I’m keeping my head up, marching on, and all those other cliches and tomorrow will be another day with a few more life updates like these!
Love Jen x
Jennifer Pickering 