Jennifer Pickering

I used to think I could find the words to explain everything,

Every feeling,

Every pain,

Every moment that had been.

But now I feel wordless,

like I’ve lost my voice.

I can’t put the words together,

to describe this void.

I try.

I try to find the words,

I sit there and urge my lips to speak them,

but I do not know them.

Instead I long for others to find them,

to give hint at the way the words might flow,

to be the kind of brave my words can not find,

For I think they have gone in fear.

I weep for those words.

For those moments where I cannot speak,

and for those moments where the silence is too deafening to listen too.

I weep for what those words might mean,

and for what might be of the silences inbetween.

They would never be designed to hurt,

but they may still bring pain,

and for that my words have gone,

in hopes that without them it will stay the same.

Being wordless is intolerable,

but it is a struggle I choose to bear,

for the thought of losing my happiness,

sends my thoughts into disrepair.

There are moments when the words are right,

when I see a glimpse of what could be,

and I’ll trace those words when my words are numb,

and I’ll remind myself to breathe.

• Jen Pickering

Have you ever felt like you have something you need to say but you don’t know how to say it because the wrong words could be disastrous? Mix that with writersblock and you get the piece above!

Love Jen x