I always find myself feeling like an imposter whenever I write, like I’m putting on some kind of act or pretending to be better than I am. Convincing myself that other people want to hear what I have to say and, even worse, convincing myself that they don’t.
I’m not sure I’ve developed a technique to trick it, to convince myself that, if writing is what I want to do, then it is ok to do it. And, if not everyone enjoys it, then that is ok to. Because, I think that’s it. We listen to other people’s voices more than our own. Even if we are happy with something, the advice of a stranger seems, at times, more important than our own internal monologue and, rather naively (or stupidly) we assign it more value. Acting as though the words of someone we will probably never meet should have some profound impact on our worth and should tell us we are less than we value ourselves.
I’ve started submitting writing to competitions, not because I think I will win them, but because, if anything, I need to remind myself that I am at least worth the consideration. Don’t get me wrong, if I were to ever win, I would be ecstatic in that annoying way where you shout it from the rooftops (only I wouldn’t actually do that because my neighbours wouldn’t be too impressed with me) but I’m not putting my worth on winning. I’m letting myself see the worth in trying and just being in the race.
I might always think I’m an imposter in the writing world, but at least I am a part of it.
Love always,
Jen x
Jennifer Pickering 